The Unexplainable
by CannibalNel
Summary: A really long drabble about falling in love, and the damnation of demons. Ciel just loves asking questions. :: contains sex with minor, SebasxCiel::


_**Disclaimer **_: I do not own Kuroshitsuji, Yana Toboso does. But I own this fanfic.

**A/N** : Nice background music to listen to while reading this...- Eclipse – End Of The World. This fic is kind of a dialogue, really short, and not that original. I don't even know why I posted it.

**The Unexplainable**

Sebastian...

_Yes, Little Master?_

Have you ever fallen in love?

_That's quite personal.. And I'm not too sure if I can answer truthfully._

You've never fallen in love once in your life have you?

_Who told you that demons cannot love Boochan?_

Stop calling me that. Gets on my nerves after a hundred years.

_Should I call you Ciel?_

Call me whatever you want, dammit. Just answer my question.

_You are a demon too, Ciel. You should know by now if demon's are capable of love._

What if... if they loved somebody,before?

_Before?_

Before they became demons. Do they instantly forget about it? That person they loved?

_Most demons do not even remember their human life. Be grateful that you can do so._

Then if they cannot remember love, can they acquire the feeling of love when demons?

_( **the butler silently laughs to himself, looking at the moon just outside their hotel room)**_

_Love is not something you can acquire just because you want to. And most creatures of this kind do not give a damn about love. Demons search for souls, because that's what they lack._

What if you have souls? You have everything you wished for, but you cannot love?

_That's probably because we're an abomination of God. We carry so many sins, that the feeling of love is something taken away from us._

What if a demon wants to love? Really wants to love?

( _**the boy looks at his knees, his eyes looking like his mind is elsewhere )**_

_Demons desire a lot of things. To own somebody, to kill somebody, to suck the soul out of some one._

And that makes them incapable of loving?

_Not exactly. It just makes them do not understand – or want to – understand the reason for loving._

Sucks to be a demon then.

( _**the butler looks at the boy for a couple of seconds, until he sits on the bed next to him **_)

_That doesn't make loving illegal, you know Ciel. Everybody who wants to, can love somebody else._

_**I can't.**_

( _**the boy whispers, looking away from the butler**_ )

_You can't? Who told you that?_

Myself. Each time I want to love somebody, I just... don't care. I end up wanting that person's soul.

_Seems perfectly normal to me._

Because you are a demon. Don't you wish sometimes you were able to love?

( _**the butler sighs to himself, tired from the copious amount of questions**_)

_When I was a young demon, sometimes I asked myself the same question. But when time comes you'll forget about this human feeling._

You're lying.

(_**the boy raises his head a little, his red eyes shining in the dark room**_ )

_Is it that obvious?_

You started becoming too obvious, after the first fifty years. I always know when you're lying.

_Then... Maybe demons simply do not wish to love._

Why someone would wish something so...

( _**the room's silent for ten seconds )**_

_Demons have pride, Ciel. They think that human's aren't equal to them. They think they're a perfect existence._

Do you think that too?

_If only I were that arrogant. I have pride, and I'm not a good person. But I think people are equal to each other._

You know, as time goes by you become more like a wise old man.

_Wise old men do not look like me._

True.

_My little Ciel, you know that I'm not the good person I try to make myself look like now. A hundred years ago, even back then, I was hiding my true self behind a kind facade. Most of the time._

Then in another one hundred years you're going to become like a hippie. Love and peace, and all that crap.

_Most definitely not. I do not like their choice of clothing._

Fuck. You're even starting to lose your sense of humour.

( _**the boy lies back on the king sized bed looking at the dark ceiling, illuminated by the moon light)**_

_And you start using more profanities. This decade isn't doing you any good. I miss the well mannered young Earl._

I miss the cool demon butler.

_Back then you didn't seem to like me very much._

People change, Sebastian.

_Let me give you food for thought then, Ciel._

( _**the butler looks leans down on the bed, just a little above the boy's lying figure **_)

_What if demons, are capable of loving, but do not wish to sink as low, as to feel something that common mortals feel? What if we're all a bunch of stuck up snobs, thinking we're an existence close to God?_

Then that solves everything.

( _**the boy raises his self a little, his face only a couple of inches away from the butler**_ )

_How can it solve anything? _

I'll just throw away my...

(_** his face now is even closer to the butler's **_)

Pride.

( _**the boy pulls the butler close to him, enveloping his lips with his own**_ )

_Ciel Phantomhive... throwing away his pride._

( _**the butler pushed down the boy, both of them a tangled mesh of limps, still kissing each other**_ )

Is that so bad?

( _**a butterfly kiss is laid on the boy's neck**_ )

_Just makes me understand how much you've changed._

( _**the boy pulls back a little, his hands still tangled on the butler's raven hair**_ )

Do you really hate the person I am now?

_I never said that._

But you never replied to my first question.

(_**the kiss continues for a couple of seconds**_ )

_About falling in love?_

( _**no answer – both knowing it actually**_ )

_It adds spice to my damned life. _

That you never answer my questions?

( _**the butler raises himself a little pulling the boy with him – looking straight inside his eyes**_ )

_No. That you're always so nervous about what I'm going to answer._

_( **the boy blushes** )_

Wise old men do not make fun of little boys.

_Thankfully, I not a wise old man, and you're far from being a little boy._

Why's that?

( _**the boy kisses the butler's neck, starting to unbutton his shirt**_ )

_A little boy wouldn't do this._

That's right. A wise old man would never lay hands on a little boy either. Only if he was a pedophile.

_( **the butler chuckled and took of his shirt, quickly )**_

_You're becoming more cynical as time goes by. I almost feel like..._

_( **the boy's shirt is suddenly torn off – him gasping from the cold air hitting his naked torso** )_

_You don't really care about me anymore. What was all this talk about love?_

( _**the boy looks away, mad with himself**_ )

When I was just a human, you were a demon, different from me. But I felt closer to you.

_What has changed now?_

We may be the same, but I feel so far away from your level.

_Our level as demons, is surely different. But that isn't necessarily negative._

_( **a soft kiss** )_

_Even if demons in the end, cannot love, they can complete each others._

Forget what I said. You're a cheesy old man.

_Is it so bad that I need Ciel with me?_

( _**the boy's pants come off – then his underwear – the butler does the same with himself**_ )

It's just.. weird.

_That I care for you? Even if I can never consume your soul?_

Didn't you hate me back during those years when I first became a demon?

_I hated the fact that I didn't own your soul anymore. _

Yes, but you're still tied to me by that contract.

_Contracts break all of the time. Look at what happened to the Trancy heir._

So if you wish, you will kill me just to break the contract.

( _**there's silence, naked bodies touching each other in a tight embrace**_ )

_That's a possibility too._

_( **something is pressed between the boy's thighs** )_

_But I need Ciel beside me._

_( **a whimper, and a low moan are heard, when they're bodies are finally connected to one another**)_

You just want me for the sex, don't you old perv?

( _**a quick thrust makes the boy close his eyes, and sigh **_)

_It's not half bad._

( _**the boy wraps his legs around the butler's lean body making him thrust once more **_)

_Okay, okay it's pretty amazing. When you're not whining about the pain._

I stopped whining forty years ago.

_That's when my little Ciel finally became an adult._

_( **they stop talking for a few minutes, the rhythm of their bodies meeting becoming more and more quick**)_

Hah... be more... gentle.

_And I'm supposed to be the one that's always lying. _

_( **the butler now is sitting, with the boy on top of him – and having his member inside of his small body** )_

I never lie. One of those days I swear my butt's not gonna be the same anymore.

_( **they kiss for a while, the rhythm coming back to the usual pace, until it's too hard and quick for both of them to bear**)_

I'm … hah... cum...cumming!

( _**the boy pulls the butler even closer to his body, and bites his neck forcefully trying to suppress his loud moans, while his climaxes**_)

_You've became so demanding... Maybe... next time I'm going to let you do ...the whole thing._

_( **the butler's head rests on top of the boy's mass of dark blue hair, both of them catching their breath- until they finally lay on top of each other, gazing at the ceiling above them** )_

_Why you're always so indirect?_

What do you mean?

( _**the butler's hands rests on the boy's slim waist**_)

_Why are you so worried about not loving me?_

I never told you that you're the person I try to love.

_I kind of got that between the lines._

_( **the boy doesn't answer – there's tension in the room**)_

When I was still an ignorant human boy, I liked Sebastian. But not in that way. You were the most important person in the world, the only one that would care for me.

( _**there's no reply**_ )

Now, I don't need Sebastian. I'm a demon too. So why I find myself wanting to be needed by you?

(_**The butler's sits on the bed, and rises ready to leave, his naked form searching for his clothes scattered on the floor**_)

_You really should know the reply to that by now, Boochan. I don't have the answers for everything._

Stay with me tonight.

( _**the boy sits up on the bed, looking sadder than the situation demanded to **_)

_Stop being so helpless._

( _**a kiss again, and a few loving words, whispered so quietly that even the narrator of this cannot make out **_)

I thought you liked me being helpless.

( _**more kisses **_)

_I like it. But it's fucking making me want to eat you.. again and again._

_( the boy blushes, his mouth open responding to the butler's kiss)_

I don't care if you eat me.

_Even if I killed you?_

Killing is a form of passion for another person. I would feel content if you had such a passionate feeling about me.

_You were a sad little boy. How did you turn into such a fucked up adult?_

Am I an adult to your eyes?

_You sound like one._

( _**rain's starts falling, hitting against the window of the hotel room**_ )

Would you really do that?

_Your helplessness makes me evil all over again. The way you moan and whimper each time we make love, the way you scream for help when something goes wrong when you hunt souls, makes me feel needed. And that gives me the feeling of having the power to do everything I want with you._

What's that to do with the whole topic of this conversation? This very long conversation.

_When you first asked me about falling in love, and I retorted telling you about what demons feel, I said why demon's do not feel the need to love._

What does this have to do with you?

_It's the reason why I can't fall in love._

**( _the demon's red eyes soften, looking at the boy's frail form, looking up at him_ )**

It's because.. I own Ciel Phantomhive's body and soul. Every feeling that you have, every action that you make. You're mine.

_If you didn't... would you fall for me?_

( the butler smiled a faintly his fangs showing a little )

_Demons have pride, Ciel. And I do not wish to throw it away like that. Like you just did._

At least can tell my feelings to others.

_And what does that make you? Better than the other demons? More like a human?_

Are you angry with me?

_I wish I could be._

And why you can't? Why can't you just hate me, and forget about me?

(_** the boy yells, and tries to get away from the butler- a hand extending and keeping him close**_ )

_That's why we're not in the same level._

Because I'm not a big asshole?

_Because you never understand when a person truly cares for you._

And you tell me you can?

_I'm somewhat able to._

Then would you ever let me kill you?

_You're probably the only person I'd let to do that._

Would you give yourself to me? Would you be mine like I'm yours?

_That cannot happen._

But if that happened you could actually love me! And I would be superior to you, owning you.

_Being superior to the other isn't always good. _

I want to care for you, like you do for me. I want to be loved by you, like you love me!

_Isn't love and care the same thing?_

Not all of the time.

_Then for me it is, Boochan._

Why are you still calling me that? You're supposed to own **me.**

_Because I'll always follow you. Isn't that fairly simple?_

I don't want you just to follow me. I want you to be able to love me.

_You're really don't get it little master do you?_

You're the one talking in riddles – not me.

( _**the butler's hands extend and touch each side of the boy's face, softly**_)

_I'll follow Ciel to the end of the world, if that's needed. But my whole existence is damned never to fall in love like common humans do. To me little master, will be God._

( _**the boy doesn't speak, only looks slightly shaken by those words **_)

How...Why..

_You're questions have started to annoy me a lot, you know._

What should I call that?

( _**the butler stands up ready to leave the room **_)

_Little master is so thick skinned sometimes. That was a demon's love confession. Better remember it because this's the last time I'm making one._

( _he leaves, and then complete silence – a few red tears, staining the white mattress_)

He was certainly not lying about that...Are you still out there?

( _**the door creaks a little **_)

_I forgot I don't have a room here._

You're kind of an air head, for a demon.

_That's your answer after a love confession?_

That was not a love confession. You almost told me you're starting a cult, with me being the God.

_Someday I'll surely kill you._

( the butler's not mad, just a little nonchalant )

Do I really get on your nerves?

( _**they sit side to side on the bed **_)

_You just confuse me a lot._

That's good.

( _**a light kiss, is laid by the boy on the butler's lips**_)

_How can that be good?_

Because I can confuse a centuries old demon.

_You're really evil._

But the best thing about you feeling confused is..

( _**the boy smiles faintly to himself, and turns his head to look at the demon**_ )

This is a sign of love.

_You never stop to amaze me, little master._

( _**a chuckle , then two hands intertwine **_)

_Even if our lives us demons, is dark, morbid and gloomy your presence makes it a little better._

( _**the boy tightens his grip **_)

_I mean a lot better._

I'm happy to hear that, my little follower. Do you actually want me to be the top during sex?

_I think I just created a monster._

What? I really want to see how an old perv acts during -

( _**a sudden kiss on his cheek cuts him off, making him blush furiously**_ )

Why is this making me more embarrassed than sexual interaction with you?

_Because that's love._

I still don't get you.

_You see my little Ciel, love is something so beautifully..._

_**Unexplainable. **_

**- Fin**


End file.
